Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Letter from the red boots

Dear SMID,

We just wanted to let you know how unhappy we are in the closet. The dark and very cold closet since it really is just the stairs to the attic. But that isn't the main reason why we're unhappy.

Sure we're the image you put on every blog you comment on. For some folks, we are the only image people know you by.

You took us to Vegas earlier this month. We were your footwear of choice in the Valley of Fire in Nevada, your night of multiple cover bands and we even experienced the indignity of going through an airport scanner next to someone's smelly flip-flops (now THAT was nasty).

But when you walked into the cowboy boot store on the Vegas strip, we started to get worried. You asked about a particular style of boot and the saleswoman explained she only had a size that didn't fit you. Then she showed you a pair that took your breath away.

You took us off.

You put those other boots on. You practically danced around the store, touching other boots lined up along the walls, talking to the woman. She did compliment us saying "you clearly wear those boots" and you smiled.

You put us back on your feet as the woman put those other boots in a bag. With us on your feet you skipped out of the store swinging the bag. You wore us for the rest of the trip and even on the flight back home.

And we haven't been out of the closet since.

Oh sure, you tell us it is for our own good. That you never took us out when there is snow on the ground or even a hint of rain, even before Vegas. You don't want us to end up looking like your first pair of red snakeskin cowboy boots that are missing half the skin and showing this white under fabric. You tell us you're protecting us.

Meanwhile the new boots - the plain brown boots - are being worn to your office, the State House, the kids' schools, a night of drinking wine with other moms, coaching the boys' basketball team, the town diner, a children's story hour in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. and church. You've never worn us when coaching a game. Never. Have you noticed we're sulking here in the dark?

So this is it. We're leaving you. If you want to put your feet in a boring pair of brown cow leather boots then you deserve them. We - who are red and made from python no less - are going to find someone who will appreciate us and let us brave the elements.

First, though, could you put us on and walk us to that person? We can't get out of the closet.

The Red Snakeskin Cowboy Boots


Flower Child said...

I am expecting to see you (the boots) when your owner visits. I have arranged a special activity where I expect to see you. This occasion was MEANT for you!

p.s. I'd take you in but I don't think we're a good (correct size) fit.

Heather said...

Clearly I have issues because I have thought this way about different objects I own. Like they really have feelings.

That's probably why I'm a pack rat.

You wrote this so I could talk about me didn't you?

I like both pairs, by the way.

FENICLE said...

Hey, those boots are made for walking!!!

Jan said...

Oh, what a hoot. Don't let those boots walk all over you ! (((HUGS)))

Goofball said...

you are a crazy boots lady!

Jenn in Holland said...

Sign me up! I. Want. Those. Boots.

Jenn in Holland said...

Or a visit from their owner, whatever.
Go ahead, walk on over!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

This was absolutely hysterical! It made my day.

Fourier Analyst said...

Dear RSC Boots,
O Darlin's I know it is difficult at times when a new kid comes to town. But please be patient. The time will come soon when the newness will wear off. And I guarantee that those brown boots will not hold up when it comes to dancin' and boot-scootin'. No, for those activities only you will do. Have no fear, your owner will come to her senses when those special occasions arrive and her entire image and reputation are at stake. And who wants to go to a smelly gym with all those athletically abused sneakers? And the office is frankly boring and no one will notice you there. As for the ice and snow, please know it really is for you own good and a sign of just how much she cares for you. And indeed it is your picture on her blog. She identifies herself with you. What more of an honor can you really want? Maybe what you need is some companionship. Ask about hubby's snakeskin specials that are probably lying under the bed. Sure they've seen better days and are a bit run down at the heels, but oh...the stories they can tell!!

Hope this helps you feel better!

Wholly Burble said...

If your socks could talk, they'd tell tales about all your adventures Red--and I'm sure some of the best "boot-scootin'" stories include you in all your glory!

I'm one of the people who see you and think fondly of my Colorado mountain days, and my times showing horses at the fair.

Brillig said...

Oh, poor boots. I'm so sorry SMID is being so mean to you. But you ARE famous, you know. Good luck in your new home, your new life. I hope you'll continue to blog, dear boots. Tell us of all your new adventures.

Jami said...

My Black Eels and my Brown Ostriches both send their regards. They want Red Pythons to know that they know EXACTLY how they feel, since after years of one pair or the other being worn every. freakin'. day. they are currently working on their third year of semi-retirement. But their closet is heated and they do get to spend lots of time with the other shoes that don't get out so much any more.

chelle said...

hahaha that was fun!

Alex Elliot said...

Can I join you and your new boots the
next time you drink wine with other moms?

Jerseygirl89 said...

I like both pairs too. But python does really up the cool factor on the original pair.