Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Who ARE you people? again

Hello everyone visiting from Bemidji, Chattanooga, New York, Fe Warren Air Force Base, West Hollywood (really?) and Kuala Lumpur.

Those are just a few of the cities you all are from. Don't panic, I don't know who you are (although I have my suspicions with some of you). I looked at Google Analytics for the first time in a while.

Back in April of last year I shared a list of keywords that lead some of you to my blog. Lately (really since the summer) I just haven't been tracking my hits or visits very much. I like the space I've staked out here in the blogosphere and don't feel any particular need to expand.

A few of the ways folks are finding me are obvious, like my name, the name of the blog and variations on the soccer (or soccor as some of you typed) mom theme.

Some of these are just too funny:

  • Soccer mom feet - huh?

  • The Paper Bag Princess - so glad there are others of you looking for that terrific book.

  • Dress like a soccer mom - again? Didn't I explain before that I don't want to BE a soccer mom, never mind dress like one! I'm in denial here in suburbia!

  • Blind Boys of Alabama Blogs - wow, what an honor to be pulled up with that list.

  • Worms in Clementines - someone typed that, and other combinations of worms coming out of other things, A LOT. I hope you got that taken care of because it was gross when it happened to my little guy last winter.

  • Sugar cereal in schools- yup, I'm still mad about that one too.

  • Fetch - A bunch of you are looking for the auditions for the 3rd season, Nina, Rosario and Maddie.What none of you like Mike?

  • Maya and Miguel porn - oh dear, you are kidding? Porn between two PBS cartoon characters? WHO ARE TWINS!? That is just nasty.

  • Centerfold Moms - I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing over that one. If you saw me, you couldn't stop laughing either.

  • Red snakeskin cowboy boots - yup.

  • Your loyalty is a virtue, but not when its wedded to blind stubbornness - You got that fortune in a cookie too! No Way!!

  • 14 year old boy stomach ache 10 days - you wrote that into a search engine? Get off the computer and get the kid to a hospital!

  • 39th birthday cards for adults - I didn't know there were 39th birthday cards for kids.

  • Dealing with bitchy soccer moms - oh oh oh how do YOU do it? Really, what is your secret? Mine is gin. And a fake smile. And just not caring what they think.

  • Denial is good - isn't it? Helps with those bitchy soccer moms.

  • Transgendered boys who are flower girls at weddings - now THAT is awesome!! Truly awesome! Brava to the couple and the kids' parents. Braaaa-vvva!!

But my absolute favorite two lines typed into a search engine that led to my site are:

unreadable, turgid, overwritten and obscene

and on another day

I married a fag hag.

Hey, Amazing Guy? What are you doing?


So now that I've outed my husband (hi honey!), who are you lurking on the other side of the screen? Come on, I know you are out there. Why not say "hi" and tell me how you got here?

Unless you were the one who typed about the PBS porn. I don't want to know about you.


Flower Child said...

PBS porn? I need to spend more time watching public television

Anonymous said...

yeah, I've got to agree, cartoon twin porn? That's more than a little disturbing, but I suppose it takes all types.

I love looking at the search engine lists. You find some really bizarre shit out there. lol

Gunfighter said...

PBS porn? That's just wrong on all levels.

Ambassador said...

Heeeheeeheeeeheeeecoughsputterhaahaaaa!!! OK, I sooo needed that laugh this morning.

And, I raise my voice with the other folks...Eeeeeewwwww.

Hugs - Ambassador

Sister Sassy said...

Too too funny! Our most recent weird one was Heath Ledger on Sisters... great.. weird about Miya and Miguel-YUCK!

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Oh, Sassy don't forget "poopy diaper daycare change"!

Hi Soccer Mom, btw.

soccer mom in denial said...

Why hello Sisters! Sassy you've made yourself known before but here is your formal welcome. And same to you Honey Bunch.

Love the names, ladies. Love the names.

Heather said...

Oh gosh that was funny.

And I have to thank you for alerting us to The Paper Bag Princess, my daughter has laughed a ton reading all of his books.

Jami said...

But was the PBS porn in hi-def? Cuz if not, I'm probably not going to try and find it.

painted maypole said...

i used to look at those stats all the time, and don't anymore. I'm too busy trying to read all the gazillions blogs I read now! :)

Goofball said...

woohoo I am not lurking. Neither do I need to find you via search engines. But it is fun looking at those stats.

I have made the mistake to type once about "ass shake" in a latin dance inspired aerobic class. Since that day it is the most popular post on my blog. I am getting tired of that already .

Jenn in Holland said...

"my secret is gin. And a fake smile"

That was my favorite line.

capitolady said...

What? How do you learn about all that? That is just tooo weird.

PBS Porn though and the thing about the 14 yr old with stomach problems... Well you just don't want to know all I hear at my job. :)

I found you from your Photo blog :)

btw, Gin helps big time!

chelle said...

I tend to remain ignorant of my search words and like.

You have porn here? hehe

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I love those statistics... I get the most for my blog from a picture of Colin Firth I posted eons ago.