Making the top bunk

How does one make the top bunk?

Especially when the kid who sleeps in it is a pack rat?

We've waited to get bunk beds until the boys were 6 years old. They were a month shy of their birthday when we bought them last month. Their feet were sticking out of the end of their toddler beds but their bedroom is too small for two twin beds so we waited.

One boy declared - for months - that he was sleeping on the top bunk. The other one was fine with this arrangement and never publicly longed to be in the top bunk. Then the first night and sheer panic set in for the guy on the top. He refused to sleep in his new bed. Complained the new red sheets were too bumpy among other things. The list seemed endless.

Then his brother offered to switch and take the top bunk. And like that, equilibrium was achieved in their reconfigured bedroom.

Now the top bunk kid (formerly of the bottom bunk) is the pack rat. This morning as I was changing the top bunk I had to contend with:

a pillow
quilt
comforter
his Summer 2006 journal in a plastic bag
silver ribbon tied to the railing
his bank
plastic container with pencils and notepads
6 plastic cups and matching bowls (for when he plays restaurant)
art projects from camp
his favorite stuffed animal (a lamb named Bobby)
pocket schedule for the local MLS team
several business size envelopes each holding something
clipboard with paper

There I am, on top of the mattress, lifting up the corners and trying not to let everything fall behind the bed. I can't get the sheet to sit snuggly on the wall side of the mattress. I feel like I'm wrestling but already pining down my opponent, unable to finish him off.

Then, does a nearly 6 year old really care if his bed has army corners?