Say whatever

While driving to school one brother told on the other one.

"I saw him sitting on his chair the wrong way. His bottom was on the back rest and his feet were on the seat!"

What followed was a cascade of confessions, tattle-telling and a 5-year-old younger sister begging that we not talk about this.

The upshot was that someone was copping a little attitude in his third-grade class, in part to keep up with the antics of his friends and in part because I gave him permission.

I what?

"Yeah Mom! You told me that I could say whatever I want when I am with my friends!"

Back up a year or so ago when the first, real ugly word came out of my sons' mouths. I was in a panic. How does one stop them from using obscenities, snarky sayings, crass gestures? How does one, as the saying goes, not think of an elephant when someone says elephant?

A dear friend had an ingenious response. She tells her daughters she can't control what they say to their friends but in their family home they have to use appropriate language.

So that was my response and we've done pretty well in the family, language wise.

What I didn't think would happen was he would take the comment to mean all actions with friends, outside of our house, including class time.

We have now clarified that what I meant was during recess. Class time means work time.

And I have to go apologize to a third grade teacher.