A Fear

We were all enjoying an evening in another town's municipal pool, the guests of beloved friends. I offered to take the oldest kids (my two boys and my friend's eldest) to the bathrooms.

I have struggled with what to do when my nearly 7-year-old boys need to relieve themselves. They are coming to the age where dragging them into the women's room is embarrassing for them. Once we had to use a women's room inside a locker room and, well, the boys got an eyeful much to all of our embarrassment.

But then I live in fear that someone will hurt my children and I won't be there to stop it. I know that children are more likely to be hurt by someone they know then a boogie man lurking in a public bathroom. But I also know they can be hurt by someone their own age.

So when one of my boys ran sobbing out of the bathroom with dirt on his chest, I thought I would vomit. I wrapped him in a towel as he heaved his tears.

When I was 6 or 7 years old I was invited outside to play by a neighborhood girl. A year older than me, my parents had known her parents for years and didn't think anything of her offer to play. She took me to the backyard of a third kid, a boy older than both of us. All I remember is my underwear was off and he is touching me with his dirt covered finger. Nothing else happened. But the only other thing I remember is crying in my family room with my parents.

"What happened?"

"I slipped and hit my head!"

"No one pushed you?"

"No."

"No one scared you?"

"No. I just slipped in a really big puddle on the floor."

The lump started to appear off of his forehead. It was big so now I had other concerns to worry about.

I can deal with those.

***

I can honestly say that the account described above is the only time someone inappropriately touched me as a child. I have dear friends that have dealt with much, much worse. I am also not an expert on these issues so please, if you are dealing with trauma from abuse, or worried about a child you care about, please seek out professional help. If you have concerns for a child's immediate safety, call the police.

For more information about child abuse, visit Prevent Child Abuse America for an organization in your state. Information for adult survivors of childhood abuse can be found at Adult Survivors of Child Abuse.