Love, more

We're away. On vacation. But I come out of vacation to honor my boys' 9th birthday. To honor their last year in single digits here are letters to each of them. A bit long for typical posts but humor me. They have to share a birthday so why should they share a letter?

Dear darling one,

You are my tough guy. The one who will strut around the house with his pants half down pulling off some gansta move you learned from other white kids at camp. While part of me wants to fall over in hysterics at how just plain ridiculous you look the other part wants to pull your pants up and tell you to act right. You are quick to put on an I-don't-care face when you know you've done something wrong. And just as quick to sob as I send you to your room for being disrespectful.

But then, but then, the week before vacation you insisted on walking arm and arm with me, everywhere we went. Through the big city square, on a wooded and rocky mountain, and into the town coffee shop, you would sidle up to my side that didn't have a bag, slip your arm around my waist and lift my arm to drape over your shoulder. Then you would work really hard to get your steps in sink with mine. Your left foot out with mine. Your right foot out with mine. You would over compensate for my longer strides. This would go on for many city blocks, over several wooded hills.

Every few minutes you would yelp "Mama! We're in sync!"

Yes, my darling boy. I hope we will always be in sync.

Happy Birthday. I love you,
Mama

***

Dear darling one,

This summer I started in earnest to teach your younger sister how to ride a bike without training wheels. It has been a struggle because she can do it. She has the balance and the strength but she doesn't believe she can do it. It is probably the thing that drives me the most nuts as a mother - when one of you can do something but you won't do it because of fear, doubt, lack of practice. It was exactly what happened with you when you were learning to ride a bike. You didn't believe in yourself and then one day you got it. And off you went, riding far away from me.

One afternoon this summer, in the parking lot of a courthouse, you watched me seethe as your sister kept giving up on herself. And you looked me in the eye and said "Mom, I feel your stress."

I nearly fell over. Both from your empathy and from embarrassment.

Around the same time you started to spontaneously say "I love you" to me. Sometimes with a hug, sometimes as a comment as you passed by on your way out the backdoor to play or ride your bike. You never said it to worm your way out of a punishment. You just say it.

And like when you feel my stress, telling me you love me just makes me melt.

Because you will never know how much I love you.

Happy birthday little man,
Mama

Three years of blogging

Sunday, August 9th was my three year anniversary of blogging.

The first year was just bumbling and fumbling, of getting my blog-legs, of writing for me.

The second year was when I really "got" it - go comment on other blogs so you will get lots of comments on yours.

The second year was also when I "got" them - an insanely wonderful group of friends that have become even closer. I just can't envision my life without you all.

This past year was one of retrenching, of writing for me, of barely venturing out and commenting on other blogs. I'm back where I started. Writing for me. Thanks to those of you who keep coming back and reading even when I take long breaks or don't visit for months.

And just to be super vain, here is my pick of top posts from the last 12 months:

When you Take Boys to a Triathlon

Started and Ended with a Funeral

Travel to You the South Carolina Mix

Determined Pointed Toes

Get Out of My House Lady Gaga

Happy Birthday Darling (Daughter's birthday letter)

Peanuts, a Blanket and Yellow Feathers

130 Songs

Stories from History

La

Writing the Bee Tree

How a Park Should be

"Go Kill the Yellow Man"

Love more (Boys' birthday letter)

What did I miss?

Futbal and mix CDs

David Beckham came to town this weekend and threw a birthday party for my boys.



Well, not exactly. We bought the New England Revolution birthday party package and brought four soon-to-be third graders with our family. I picked the date partly because one the availability of one of these young friends. Little did I know what a big deal it was that we were going to see David Beckham and the LA Galaxy play our beloved Revs.



These guys knew. They were up ALOT complaining about the ref, the plays, etc. And while the Revs lost, the boys seemed pretty happy. One young guest even declared in the van coming home, "that was STILL a GREAT night!"

And as is our family custom, the boys gave out 9th Birthday Mix CDs. And I think the parents were more excited than the party-goers.

1. Pride (In the Name of Love) - U2
2. Everybody's Changing - Keane
3. Just Can't Wait - The J. Geils Band
4. I Thought I Lost You - from the movie Bolt
5. City of Blinding Lights - U2
6. Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley
7. A Little Less Conversation - Elvis Presley
8. Beautiful Day - U2
9. Candy Girl - New Edition
10. More Than a Feeling - Boston
11. I'm a Believer - Smash Mouth
12. Let My Love Open the Door - Pete Townshend

And in a few weeks we're going to give the boys their BIG birthday present - hint, hint - it involves someone on this list.

Any of these songs strike your fancy?

Sorry for the lack of Linky Love. Leave a comment if you want me to list you.

Also making music on Monday:

The Ambassador

When you take boys to a triathlon

When you take boys to watch their uncle in a triathlon
They will want to be in a triathlon too.



When they are in a triathlon
They will have permanent marker on their body for days.



When they have permanent marker on their body
They will need to go into very very very cold water.



When they go into that very very very cold water
They will have to swim 100 yards.



After they swim in very cold water they will have to run up a beach
Dip their feet in water to rinse off the sand
Dry their feet on a towel
Put on sneakers
And a bike helmet
And a belt with their racing number
And walk their bike out of the "transition" area
With no adult help
And start riding a bike for 1 and 1/2 miles.



After riding 1 and 1/2 miles they will have to get off their bikes
And run half of a mile.



After running half of a mile they will get a medal
which they will promptly take off their necks and place on their little cousin



After getting the medal back from their nearly 2-year-old cousin
They will collapse on a sea wall to drink lots of water



While drinking lots of water
They will talk between gasping for air about how they plan on doing another triathlon.


With apologies to Laura Joffe Numeroff, author of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

The Depeche Mode Concert - I conjured up the rain

Long ago I wrote about how I went to the "new" outdoor venue (back in 1986) for a concert that was rained out. The venue had to cancel and reschedule the show when the first 26 rows flooded because the pumping system didn't work. I was thinking about that show a fair amount on Friday, hours before attending the Depeche Mode Sounds of the Universe concert.

Little did I know the power of my thoughts.

A bit after 5:00 pm the sky turned pitch black and the rain just poured down. It was so bad I scrapped wearing cool cowboy boots for wellies. Because it was that wet outside.

I met a high school friend and two of his friends and we drove down to the venue. We ate our "dinner" in the drizzle and during several other breaks dealt with significant rain drops.

But fortunately the rain didn't cause another flood or stop Depeche Mode. It was a terrific show.

Stripped from Depeche Mode's 1986 album (because that is how I first listened to it) Black Celebration. And kudos to the fan who recorded this. It is a fan video but a pretty good one in my opinion. And skip to after the second minute. This was one of the encores so there is lots of screaming at the beginning.

I'm on a roll with concerts. Seen any good ones lately?

Sorry for the lack of Linky Love options. Just put a link to your post in the comments and I'll make a nice little list.

So how drunk was Paolo Nutini?

Note: I like Paolo Nutini. I enjoyed his concert. If you are coming to my site for the first time because you found me in a search engine and are going to blast me I liked his show. Don't go all Gaga on me (as in Lady Gaga) and write mean things. I like his music - particularly his new CD - and enjoyed the show. Feel free to read this story but if you came here in a huff, like a bunch of Gaga fans who didn't read the post they were commenting on, please go away.

This is turning into the year of concerts for me. The English Beat show was my Valentine's Day present from Amazing Guy and later this spring we saw Keane.

Friday evening Amazing Guy and I dragged MoJenn (what? you don't know that Jenn in the Netherlands is now Jenn in St. Louis? Get it? MoJenn as in Jenn in Missouri?) to the Paolo Nutini concert. You know the kid, he sings "New Shoes". Everybody now

Hey, I got my new shoes on
And everything is alright
Hey, I got my new shoes on...

So with my new skirt on (really, it was fabulous) but no new shoes we went to the show.

And thought we were watching a train wreck in progress.

Little Mr. Nutini came out waving his half-full glass of red wine. He stooped over and barely got through "New Shoes", the song he is most famous for. When he finally got through this 93 second version (complete with skipped lyrics and inane mumbling) he practically growled into the microphone "no. more. shoes." He was beyond drunk and full of contempt.

I'm sorry but Van Morrison can have complete and utter contempt for "Brown Eye Girl" because he has recorded 3 million songs (approximately) since it was a hit in 1967 (a year before I was born) and he is 1.5 million years old (thereabouts). He is entitled to his contempt for a song that has been around longer than cell phones or the internet.

Little Mr. Nutini is 22 years old. He was born when I was a senior in high school. "New Shoes" was released in 2007. My daughter is older than that song.

He is not old enough nor has "New Shoes" been around long enough for him to be so bitter. Or drunk.

The show eventually came together. His band was amazing. Just an incredibly talented group of men. Paolo eventually stood upright, played guitar and sang songs in their entirety. He kept drinking but he either hit his stride or sobered up. Either way the show finally came together.

And it was a very good show. Too bad I was worried that he was going to pass out. It would be nice not to worry about the health of the performer.

Started and ended with a funeral

This past Saturday started and ended with a funeral.

The first one was in a huge Catholic church in a city neighborhood for a colleague of mine. A woman I knew of for over 10 years before I had the pleasure of working with her for the last two. She died suddenly in her home.

Judy was a lobbyist. While we didn't work for the same organization, we spent time in the State House, in meetings, via email and phone calls trying to figure out how to pass legislation and budget items that would ensure the residents of our Commonwealth have safe and affordable housing.

As my boss wrote in an email "Judy was a special person and the type of lobbyist that you don't read about in the papers". He went on to write

"She had the knowledge, networks and skills to represent any client and to make lots of money. But Judy chose to represent non profits who worked for those with fewer advantages. She not only provided a voice for those who are too often not heard in the State House, but she also provided them with an ear- and that is just as important. Judy was a tremendously valuable source of information, intelligence, and yes gossip, from the State House that enabled us to be more effective. And despite endless hours in the 'the building', she always lived her values, maintained her integrity, and never forgot why she was there."

She made a difference for thousands of people. People who will never know the role she played in their lives.

Her death cut short a vibrant and purposeful life. She missed a key vote for a bill she had been working on for over 10 years. That was how we knew something was wrong. Because Judy never missed a vote.

The day ended in a grand theater downtown. One of those guilded tributes to the stage. A dear dear friend came to the big city to see a touring production of Rent with two of the original cast members.

Judy would never think of a Broadway show tune recalling her. But what struck me while hearing the song was how it was about shelter.

And that is what Judy gave by being a lobbyist. Shelter.

Any song gives you comfort?

Sorry for the lack of Linky Love options. Just put a link to your post in the comments and I'll make a nice little list.

Heard it from a friend

We were all in the car this weekend and there were several times when I was floored at the songs the boys could sing along to.

True by Spandeu Ballet wasn't too much of a surprise. A song by Daughtry was a bit of a shock but I figured they were probably hearing it on the radio at camp.

But when this song came on - and they sang nearly every lyric, with terrific phrasing and feeling - I nearly fell out of the car.

Laughing.

Because really, 8-year-old boys can sing the following with such authority -

Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another you been messin' around
They say you got a boyfriend
You're out late every weekend
They're talkin' about you and it's bringin' me down

Never thought I would hear REO Speedwagon's Take it on the Run sung so well by third graders.

Any song sung by little kids that makes you (happily) smile?

Sorry for the lack of Linky Love options. Just put a link to your post in the comments and I'll make a nice little list.

Now we have an Ironman in the family

Over the weekend we drove to a smaller city in a neighboring state to watch a bunch of crazies attempt to travel 70.3 miles. On water and land. Without aid of a plane or train or automobile.

Or boat.

These crazies got up really early to swim 1.2 miles. As one athlete described it "the swim really sucked (white cap waves)". He ended up asking another triathlete, someone he surmised had done this before, how to manage the white caps. The experienced one said to just go with the flow and not fight it.



Then there was 56 miles on a bicycle. This athlete explained that the the cycling "kinda sucked". He went on to say that "everyone had Tri(atholon) bikes except me, which was kind of like running in flipflops while everyone else had sneakers".



Much yelling and screaming greeted the athlete as he finished his final mile on his non-Tri bike. Much running and jumping and down accompanied watching him get off his bike, switch to running shoes and take off for the next part.



And after he started off, little men decided to have their own running races.



They were pretty tired after a few hundred yards.



And the last part was a run. A mere 13.1 mile run (called half marathon in competitive craziness).



The athlete noted that "the run sucked, too (too humid and too hilly)".



And to say that my father (above), nephew (in his arms), sister-in-law, kids, husband, and mother were not insanely proud of my "little" brother (he is after all four years younger than me so I remember the day he came home from the hospital) for finishing an Ironman race - with a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bicycle race and THEN a 13.1 mile half marathon is an understatement. And that he finished this Ironman in 6 hours, 17 minutes and 23 seconds is just jaw dropping.

Because I remember him when he was first learning to walk. And it wasn't pretty.



According to the athlete, my brother, "overall, it was pretty fun!"

A thank you note

Dear Mother Nature,

Thank you.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!

You flipped your calendar and realized it is now JULY where we live. So now we've had sunny days and temperatures in the 70's.

Thank you for finally giving us summer. I can't stop singing Feeling Groovy, Sunny Days and Here Comes the Sun.

Gratefully yours,
SMID

What's your favorite sun song?

Have to admit

I have to admit we've been listening to a lot of music by a recently deceased performer who was known for wearing one white glove. It is funny how one kid is drawn to the early Jackson 5 songs while another likes the tunes from Off the Wall and Thriller. The third just seems to be coping. Until I found out he suggested the camp group name this summer be "Rocking Robins". So he's been listening too.

But this version of ABC on the Carol Burnett show is priceless partly because she is a terrific comedic actress and because they are all singing live, something you never ever hear on television these days.

While grocery shopping this weekend, little lady broke into her own MJ-inspired medley which led to several store employees stacking a vegetable section to break into smiles and clap.

Anything making you break into song and dance next to the cucumbers?

Sorry for the lack of Linky Love options. Just put a link to your post in the comments and I'll make a nice little list.

King Street - Charleston, SC

During our visit to Charleston, South Carolina, Ambassador and I stayed at the King's Courtyard Inn on King Street.



Quite simply, Ambassador could not have found a more charming and wonderfully located place to lay our heads at night. The staff were helpful, the room spacious and the wine and cheese at the end of the afternoon the perfect way to recharge after a hot day of photography and shopping.



And was there shopping. Window shopping in antique store windows.



The little boutique, Jayne, one of many along King Street, caught our attention because the sign in the window said "Yes, You CAN AFFORD to shop here!" And guess what? I could. I found the cutest summer jacket with ribbon and zipper detailing for a price that was insanely affordable.


I fell in love with this pharmacy sign. When we went in for various sundries, it became apparent we were in a Republican Party haven, complete with personal photos of various 2008 presidential candidates and the Republican Party chairman. The little old lady at the cash register even regaled us with anti-Clinton and Obama slogans. I still love the sign.

But the shop I loved was Lily. Not only for the wonderful items they sold (I literally shopped there three times while in Charleston) or the fact the shop was located in the first floor of our Inn. Or that it can be described as "swanky". I loved it for Kevin who co-owned the shop with his wife, Lin. He gave us tips including where to get drinks, suggested sites for photography and made us feel very special.



Because Charleston is a special place to be.

Travel to You - The South Carolina Mix

When I arrived, over an hour late, at the Charleston, South Carolina airport last weekend (a foreshadow of things to come) I found Ambassador waiting for me with open arms. We hugged, giggled and promptly walked the four steps to the car rental desk (the airport was this big - put your thumb 1/2 an inch from your first finger).





We found our car and, much to our glee, discovered it had a sun roof.

Which came in handy as we drove over the Cooper River bridge, taking photos of the span while blaring Ambassador's "Travel to You" mix of songs - one of my myriad of gifts from him from that weekend.

Chain Reaction - Steps

Don't Leave Me This Way - The Communards

Groove is in the Heart - Dee-lite

History Repeating - Shirley Bassey and Propellerhead

It's a Sin - Pet Shop Boys

Knock on Wood - Amii Stewart

A Little Respect - Erasure

Never Can Say Goodbye - The Communards

Pride (In the Name of Love) - The Groove Factory

Waterfalls (Workout Mix) - TLC

What's on Your Mind (Pure Energy) - Information Society

Allegra's Aria - Soprano Yanick Alexandre

It's Oh So Quiet - Bjork

Miss Chatelaine - k.d. lang

Everlasting Love - Gloria Estefan

Whispering Your Name - Alison Moyet

And the song I associate with these photos is this fabulous rendition of Don't Leave Me This Way by the Communards. You have not lived until you've sung this loudly in a car with Ambassador.

Any song that you have known forever and now have a fresh memory with it? Do share.

Sorry for the lack of Linky Love options. Just put a link to your post in the comments and I'll make a nice little list.

Remembering Neda Soltan

Today people are being asked to wear green and/or black to remember Neda Salehi Agha-Soltan, the Iranian woman whose death from a single bullet shot by government forces was captured on video seen world-wide. Her family has been forbidden to properly mourn her death.

This morning I explained to one son why I was wearing green. I showed him this week's New Yorker magazine. I asked him to read the by-lines of several articles. Then I showed him page 28. The Letter from Tehran is titled "With the Marchers" and the subtitle A resident reports from the streets and the rooftops.

"Do you see anything missing" I asked him.

"There is no name" he said quietly, rubbing his finger over the blank space where the author's name should be.

"That's why I'm wearing green" I told him.

To remember those who have died in Iran and support those who are protesting for their country who cannot say their names.

We could've staged a coup while visiting South Carolina

Unbeknown to Ambassador and me, and apparently the rest of South Carolina, this past weekend their governor - one of those Republicans who wouldn't take federal stimulus money "on principle" and was a rising star in the party - couldn't be found.

Governor Sanford literally walked off the job without telling people where he was going. At first his staff were saying that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. Then on Monday it was disclosed that no one knew where he was.

Apparently he was in Argentina because he (I'm not making this up) "wanted to do something exotic". He admitted that he has been having an affair with a woman living in Buenos Aires.

Personally I don't care who people screw. I don't care if they are unfaithful. That is their business.

What I think is absolutely, completely appalling is that this man walked away from his job and was unreachable for several days. He was elected to take care of an entire state - a state I was visiting - and he couldn't bother to leave a number where he could be reached in case of an, oh, hurricane, explosion, flu outbreak.....

But good thing Ambassador and I didn't know. We would've staged a coup.

More photos tomorrow....

The bugs of Charleston

Ambassador and I were desperate to get together. It had been over a year since my visit to the Crescent City and we wanted to meet up somewhere "in between" for a long weekend. It was to be just the two of us and our cameras. We settled on Charleston, SC.



One subject I tried to capture, partly inspired by Ambassador's stunning images, were the various bug-like creatures we encountered in this southern coastal town.



I did alright but really they don't compare to the master's close-ups, depth of field and stunning lighting. I watched him get so close that any normal small creature would have flown away. But they stayed. I was also amazed at how dragonflies just found him. He has a smell they can't resist.



And while I captured a few good images, I am most proud of catching "on film" a bright red, skittering cockroach along a vine covered walk to a cemetery.



Radioactive Red there reminded me of his cousin who on our first night in Charleston jumped on my lap in a very swank hotel rooftop bar. They were both about the size of my thumb. And I have a big thumb.

Get Out of My House Lady Gaga - Dear Jake version

Dear Jake,

Oh. My. Word.

I can't stop laughing. I'll start with what you wrote for a comment to my post last month Get Out of My House Lady Gaga.

get a life.
music is music and people like to sing and dance.
who gives a shit what it means.
you cant bubble wrap children forever.
you crazy religious nut.

Jake, you are absolutely correct. I do not have a life. I am a 40-year-old working mother of three kids, ages 8 1/2 and 5. I will assume you can figure out how I can have three kids but only list two ages.

I will also not assume anything about you even though you have made several about me, without reading the entire post. If you had you would have noticed something I wrote:

I have no problem with her music, her lyrics or her video. Have fun madame Lady.

and

And let's not forget that I teach sex ed. In my church.

So I really didn't complain about Lady Gaga. I was complaining about parents that inflicted the song onto younger children (please reread the post to refresh your memory). As I note before, I explicitly tell Ms. Gaga to have a blast. She should enjoy her fame. People should enjoy her. People old enough to get the fun and humor.

8-year-olds and 5-year-olds are not in that club of people old enough to get the humor.

Please tell me what, ahem, "crazy religious nut" you know teaches sexuality education - including a panel discussion with transgender youth - at their church. Really. Tell me. Because you will then teach me that not all crazy religious nuts are close-minded bigots who fear their children growing up. Clearly, you mistook me for one of those folks.

I am not.

You are correct that I care about words. I care that my children may think that a popular singer is promoting losing consciousness, or worse, that abuse is part of love.

Because I won't assume that you are a white man in your 20's who hasn't thought of what it feels like to have your [future] kids sing and dance songs with cruel, destructive lyrics. Because dancing and having fun is important but so is the meaning of words. And when your future kids why "love isn't fun without a gun" get in touch with me.

Let me know how it feels.

With honest sincerity,
SMID

Dear Mother Nature - late Music Monday edition

Dear Mother Nature,

I never did hear back from you after my letter last week. I took matters into my own hands. I went south - real south - to Charleston, South Carolina. The temperatures this weekend hovered in the high 90's. The heat index was in the mid 100's.

It was hot.

And I loved it.

I loved the smell of the humidity. I loved the sweat that instantly collected on the back of my neck. I love the respite found on the shady side of the street.

I also love who I met up there. We hadn't seen each other in over a year. This week I'll tell you all about it but, Mother Nature, you will have to wait to find out who it was.

Just like you are making me wait for summer here in my hometown.

Really, could we please have summer? Now?

Pleading on bended knee,
SMID

"Too Darn Hot" - Erasure's tribute to Cole Porter from 1991's Red Hot and Blue. But trust me, Charleston was just right this weekend.

Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

Hi. It's me. SMID. I'm sorry to bother you. You are probably insanely busy so my request may seem really plain in comparison. Perhaps even a bit silly.

You see, I think you haven't been flipping your calendar. I forget to do that as well. For a couple of days.

I think you forgot for a couple of months.

Yesterday, on June 15th, it only got into the low 60's. Last week I spent both of the boys' evening baseball games either wearing three layers or wrapped in a fleece blanket. Saturday was actually sunny and got into the 70's but now we're back into the 50's. A cold, wet 50's.

I thought we had a deal. In this part of the world we don't really have spring. That glorious spring people describe in the southern part of this country when the temperatures slowly rise, the sun is bright but not oppressive and, well, there is that smell of flowers and newness in the air.

Here we suffer through cold until May but then you wave your magic wand and *poof* we have warmth. But that hasn't happened this year.

So the only reason I can think of is it is because you didn't flip your calendar. It's o.k. if you haven't for a little while. Like a few months. I'll give you a few days to get your head around the fact that in this part of the country, it is actually June 16th, not March 16th.

It was an honest mistake. Looking forward to the glorious weather, once you flip your calendar.

Fondly,

SMID

Determined pointed toes

While last year little lady had her first dance recital, this weekend was the first dance recital on a huge stage, with hundreds in the audience.

There was a rehearsal, on a different stage, last week and it was a near disaster. The teacher used claps to cue the girls to their next dance step and a series of claps confused the 4- and 5-year-olds. Eight little girls ran off to gather their flowers.


Two little girls stood their ground in the swirl of pink and white toile that flew by them. And then flew back to return to their spots. My little lady and her dance partner, who came up to her shoulder, stood with their hands on their hips and calmly pointed their toes.

But, as the saying goes, a bad dress rehearsal means it will be a stunning performance. And it was.



At least I think so. It was a bit hard to watch through my tears.

Nothing like a beautiful ballet to end the weekend. What song ended yours?